Writer's Space

On the war field

                                     By Alex turnover  

                              On the war field dirt is red

millions of men got shot in the head,

Brothers and sister will remember

the now not living family member

With all our might we shall fight

though the sun is still burning bright,

a  gunshot in the air

the enemies are getting near

the sun turns round

and shakes the ground

we load our guns

and shot those ones

what a dreadful sound

on the war field.

This is my poem about the war fields.

I think that it is the best poem that I have done ever.

It is a little bit sad and a little bit happy.

I think that I think that I did my topic

I did write a content relevant to the task

and planned my writing well.


Amy's Letter:
My goal is to use personal voice to add effect and interest. I have chosen to write a letter from a soldier’s perspective because it captures the personal voice of a soldier in the war.

30th July, 1914

To my dearest sister, Celia.

I’m so sorry I lied about my age to join the war. I know you didn’t want me to come, but it’s for our country’s freedom.

We have arrived in Gallipoli, and the atmosphere is simply spectacular.

Everyone is jolly and bright, and we are singing songs around the fire here at Camp Green Lake.

The real fighting is to begin tomorrow, and the battle field seems absolutely terrifying. The ground looks like a bog, the mud creating a foul, earthy stench which follows you wherever you go.

In 2 hours, at 6pm sharp, we will begin our evening duties. I am on trench digging, and so is my mate, Luka. I am looking forward to it, but I know I’m in for a tough job, possibly the toughest of all.

It is quarter to six now, so Luka and I have to head down to the

battle field with the rest of our trench digging group to await instructions from our leader.

Love you with all my heart, and hope to hear from you soon.

Your brother, Bruce Smith xxx  

I think I have improved on using personal voice because I have used the word I lots, and I now understand the meaning of personal voice. I have also managed to stay using personal voice throughout the whole piece of writing.


Cherry:

Goal:To spell my words grammatically correct and to use interesting and descriptive language in my writing.

July 30th 1914

Today was the third day of war. At this depressing time I almost feel as if might just die of misery...and the thought of not seeing my family is frightening. My emotions never change..I always feel like i am going to just drown in my own sorrow and pity. War is a cruel , cruel place full of poor kids holding guns twice the size of themselves. I'm slowly becoming as skinny as a pencil. The food they serve is close to foul and taste as bad, thick mould.

I deeply miss you

Yours sincerely John